Within the Wall of Denial

Book excerpt: Denial is a natural process, a form of self-protection. It is a wall built layer by layer to shelter us from pain and frightful truths. It is a psychological defense that is as normal as flinching. Within the Wall of Denial shows how this valuable, instinctive reaction can become rigid and maladaptive. Retreat behind its protection can isolate people in their pain, alienate those around them, and facilitate the development of diseases, from addiction to heart disease. It precludes seeking professional help and thus blocks early diagnosis and treatment. It contributes to treatment failure and sets up the newly recovering addict to relapse. Those who suffer from such disorders retreat behind their wall of denial, and thus often seem unaware of the chaos around them. They behave as if there is no problem; they minimize it, make excuses, or just seem unwilling or unable to take effective action. The people who love and depend on them begin to need protection; they build walls of their own. Their "enabling" or "co-dependent" behavior is also addressed in this book. Kearney presents a fresh perspective on the nature and function of denial. He describes each layer in the wall of denial, including denial of fact, implications, change, and finally denial of feelings, in language so remarkably clear that the reader can quickly realize what it is like to be on either side. He then offers an innovative approach for working with people caught in denial that bridges the contrasting techniques of confrontation and support. Empathic and tough, Kearney demonstrates how to gain clients' trust so that the wall of denial can be dismantled layer by layer.