Why Are You So Fat?

Book excerpt: When hefty Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes kept on playing and missing to an increasingly frustrated Glenn McGrath, the Australian had had enough and decided a bit of verbals were called for: 'Oi, Brandes, why the hell are you so fat?' Quick as a flash, the answer came back: 'Because every time I shag your missus, she gives me a biscuit.' Few games have such a rich history of sledging as cricket, with the Australians famed masters of the art. This collection, featuring contributions from talkSPORT's own Darren Gough and Ronnie Irani as well as many other cricket stars, brings together the best examples from around the world. To be effective, sometimes the sledge can be funny, as when Andrew Flintoff urged Tino Best, who was struggling to lay a bat on the ball, to 'mind the windows' at Lord's. Best immediately charged down the pitch to attack Ashley Giles' next ball and was stumped. But sometimes an element of real menace can do the trick, as when Malcolm Marshall commented to a struggling David Boon: 'Now are you going to get out or am I going to have to bowl round the wicket and kill you?'