To The Single Me From The Married You

Book excerpt: There comes a time when something or someone in our life gives us the opportunity to look back at our younger self with a different pair of eyes. A more mature version of ourselves stands in the mirror with the ability to articulate the things we could not explain but believed way back then. I invite you to join me on a profound journey of self-reflection and growth as I explore the intricate relationship between my past and present selves. Me, the married woman who looks back at… me, my single self, examining how my actions and beliefs of my younger years shaped the person I am today. In my case, my someone is my daughter. I was a teen mom who grew up with her, and I made plenty of mistakes and miscommunicated so many of my intentions. Now, happily married during her adult life, I’m able to recognize that there was so much that I did get right. Our relationship, marked by disagreements and periods of silence, ultimately became a testament to the enduring bond between a mother and child. Even still, the change in my relationship status caused some confusion when she began to express that the married version of me had forgotten what it’s like to be single. Oh, on the contrary! I wrote this book to speak about the things that I so deeply believed but could not say when I was single and in survival mode. I didn’t have the words yet and certainly couldn’t express them to her as a child. This is a tribute to my younger self and in honor of my daughter. Through all the complexities of being a teen mom and raising her while navigating the chaotic waters of youth and motherhood, my daughter became a pivotal character in this journey. Her presence and influence provide a mirror through which I can see my younger self with new eyes. It is through her that the I learned to speak my truth and impart the wisdom I held close to my heart as a young single woman. Without delving into the specifics of our most intimate moments, I use my narrative to offer a powerful message about self-acceptance and the continuity of identity. My message is simply that our past and present selves are not disparate entities but parts of a whole, intricately woven together to form the person we are meant to be. Therefore, our relationship status can’t define us or compartmentalize our person. Through my own reflection, I pray that readers are encouraged to view themselves as complete and unbroken, regardless of your past circumstances. I invite you to appreciate every facet of your existence, recognizing that each experience, no matter how challenging, contributes to the wholeness of your being. May this be an inspiring reminder that we are, and always have been, complete in the eyes of God, urging us to embrace our journey and see ourselves as one unified person.