The Dream of a Ridiculous Man Illustrated

Book excerpt: The story opens with the narrator wandering the streets of St. Peters burg. He is contemplating the ridiculousness of his own life, and his recent realisation that nothing matters to him any more. It is this revelation that leads him to the idea of suicide. He reveals that, some months before, he had bought a revolver with the intent of shooting himself in the head.Despite a dismal night, the narrator looks up to the sky and views a solitary star. Shortly after seeing the star, a little girl comes running towards him. The narrator surmises that something is wrong with the girl's mother. He shakes the girl away and continues on to his apartment.Once in his apartment, he sinks into a chair and places the gun on a table next to him. He hesitates to shoot himself because of a nagging feeling of guilt that has plagued him ever since he shunned the girl. The narrator grapples with internal questions for a few hours before falling asleep in the chair.He descends into a vivid dream. In the dream, he shoots himself in the heart. He dies but is still aware of his surroundings. He gathers that there is a funeral and that it is he who is being buried. After an indeterminate amount of time in his cold grave, water begins to drip down onto his eyelids.