The Bear of Bad News Coloring Book

Book excerpt: There's no ice cream left. Your condition is inoperable. Everyone you love will die. I have some bad news for you: you don't have this coloring book. It involves an adorable bear that delivers some of the worst news possible in a variety of darkly hilarious scenarios. And sadly, you do not have it. I have some more bad news for you: your children will have lasting scars from your parenting and there is nothing you can do about it. One of those scars might be buying them this book. There's nothing really inappropriate for them in terms of imagery or language, but the content will likely lead to uncomfortable conversations that you will have trouble navigating. Color, laugh, and cry as the waves of reality this bear preaches wash over you like a splash of puddle water from a passing car. Featuring 25 terrible statements about life, all of which are lovingly crafted by Elizabeth Jancewicz, who is the on stage painter in the great piano rock band Pocket Vinyl. Don't let the bad news reach your friends that you passed on this book, which can also just be treated as a comedy comic book. If they hear about this, they will probably judge you harshly. On second thought, you will probably not like this book. It's too dark and not really your sense of humor. Plus, you don't like bears or quality artwork. Best forget about it. Move on and buy something else on Amazon like some dryer sheets or Shopkins.