Rape a History of Shame Diary of the Survivors

Book excerpt: Publicly speaking about sexual violence is a challenge. As humans, we tend to deny things that bring us discomfort. Especially talking about rape during conflict and war. People tend to struggle in finding ways to share the indescribable. Because the images and ideas associated with rape are so intense and disturbing, opportunities to create change and awareness through dialogue are a challenge at best. This cloak of silence, however, is what keeps rape and sexual violence alive and ominous. My ongoing work in the field as a therapist has brought me the opportunity to listen to war rape survivors' experiences. I have thus far heard over 200 accounts, which is a number steadily increasing. These brave women and girls allowed themselves to share with me something terrifying and previously unspeakable. Many have held on to their pain in silence, alone. They shared their humble beginnings, their ideals; and their stark realities during and following their rape, as well their aftermaths, and their healing. So many survivors have made the conscious choice of speaking out and being visible, even if they come from cultures that may be less than supportive to women who are the victims of sexual violence. Before I began work within the field of rape and sexual violence awareness, I was like many other people living in my own comfort bubble. Back then, I was insulated by my values. I pursued my ideas without a deeper understanding of the complexity of war rape survivors' physical, emotional and social experiences, as well as the complex trauma that they were struggling with. Working with war-rape survivors quickly popped my comfort bubble. I realized my own tendency to deny sources of discomfort. I started to confront myself with the overwhelming reality that war-rape survivors face every single day. Listening to survivors' experiences and working with them as they address their trauma confronted me with the realities that rape survivors face, that their healing process starts from within, mentally and physically, but must continue outward, repairing their bonds and trust within their families, communities, and cultural institutions as well.