Lies My Parents Told Me

Book excerpt: So did you ever get that promised pony? Go blind because you touched "it?" Get pregnant from a public toilet seat? Of course not! Lying is an art. For parents, however, it may be an absolute necessity. They dream up loving deceptions to preserve the innocence of childhood ("Daddy and I were just doing gymnastics"), to reassure us during those awkward ages ("You're beautiful"), or to keep us on the straight and narrow ("Boys only want one thing"). But they also pass on a whole encyclopedia of strange fictions that it takes us a lifetime to sort out. Now, former New York magazine columnist and Bloomberg Business News radio and TV commentator Bernice Kanner makes us laugh and wax nostalgic with the wise, unwise, or bizarre lies our parents told us. Health lies..."Cross your eyes and they'll stick that way." Sex lies..."You can get pregnant from sitting on a public toilet." Boy lies..."A man's word is his bond." Girl lies..."It's just baby fat." Life lies..."Everything works out for the best." Loving lies..."Someday you'll thank me for this."