Hineni: My Walk Into Beautiful Life

Book excerpt: Every so often, our practical, science-dominated world is gifted with a mystic; a spirit-based, spirit-directed person. The world doesn't know how to deal with these people. They are disrespected at the very least, often bullied, sometimes drugged into submission and even institutionalized. Without recognition and support, the mystic believes there is something wrong with them. Unhealed, these individuals may abuse themselves. . . to the point that they might even consider killing themselves. . . and do so. This book chronicles the author's 40-year journey of healing and personal growth; learning to accept himself as a gifted, hypersensitive, gay mystic. Mismatched to the norms and demands of his family, home religion, peers, and society, the author was a depressed, immature, and fearful recluse for 26 years of his life. Contemplating suicide at age 21, he heard a Voice. Learning to listen and follow that Voice, the author employed a range of traditional—and untraditional—religious and spiritual thought systems. The span of "technologies" include western and eastern religions, Quakerism, Twelve Step programs, the Course in Miracles, Men's work, past life regression, and channeling (automatic writing). In a Vision, this nontheist, birthright Jew realized to his surprise that The Voice guiding him on his journey was Jesus. Hineni is an intensely personal and frank autobiography; an ethical will of how the author became a whole, human being, and what he learned and is still learning on his journey. This book can start a reader thinking about places s/he have been spiritually, as well as the places s/he might go. Hineni clearly shows that life is a journey; not a destination. That the tools and guides on that journey are personal integrity and inner guidance. And that any time or effort spent learning in any community or spiritual discipline is never a waste, because any and all efforts and understanding get incorporated in who that person is becoming. . . and we are all "becoming" until we leave the planet. The reader is encouraged—and challenged—to ask what s/he knows and believes on the basic questions of being human. . . being a spiritual being having a human experience.