Grandpa, What Did You Do on the Way to the Rest Home? - Book I

Book excerpt: Ever wonder what happened to that kid who always got you into trouble? He's back! Admit it! You missed him... You are invited to join a childhood friend from down the ole block and fasten your seat belt for a roller coaster ride with no tracks. This collection of true episodes from an unplanned life will make you glad you chose to remain at home or cause you to pack a bag and leave the safety of the known world before it's too late! So, come on along! Munch some Fritos and scan secret military illustrations for Doomsday. Entertain a Sheik in the Sahara with quaint American folk music. Stow away aboard a Communist cruise ship and enter a disco contest. Pimp for a wild beast in overly civilized Sweden. Work as an oral prostitute in an unpscale suburb of Tokyo. Smuggle champagne into a federal prison and then picnic. Accept the apology of the Dali Lama after his physical abuse. Impersonate a local Commie commissar on the Russian/Chinese border. Spear gun a huge shark and face death for absolutely no reason. Meet God, return to Earth and forget all about it! Discover how we as children take the paths already mapped within. ...and much more!