Earn Your MBA on the Toilet

Book excerpt: Move over Harvard, Stanford, and Wharton--there's a new top-ranking MBA program in town! With the Kasper Hauser Continuing Education Academy, all it takes is a few minutes and a roll of bathroom tissue to earn a fully-accredited executive business degree. For the hundreds of millions of Americans who are looking for better, more successful, and more fulfilling lives--but don't have the time and money to invest in a full-on graduate degree--comes this revolutionary new system that turns crap into gold! With Earn Your MBA on the Toilet, the Kasper Hauser Continuing Education Academy offers readers a complete business education, on subjects ranging from Accounting to Widgets to Business Ethics to Ethical Pickles. Why spend $100,000 and two years on an MBA when you can simply read this book? Written for the busy professional, the unemployed CEO, or the motivated alcoholic, this incredible course condenses thousands of hours of business wisdom into a 72-minute crash course, chunked into 3-minute "jam sessions." After a mere 8 trips to the toilet, readers will be able to hold their own with a finance professor at a cocktail party; after 15, they will be qualified to work as a management consultant for a Bass Pro shop; and by the end they will have a certificate of completion that is definitely, literally an MBA degree on par with the big guys, basically.