Doubting Faithfully

Book excerpt: As an ordained minister, I've recently begun having a recurring nightmare. It goes something like this: I'm in a dim and damp basement room, a light bulb swinging from the ceiling, and a pair of interrogators standing over me. There's the well-meaning one and there's the bad, unpredictable, aggressive one. I anxiously wonder how many members from my congregation they have crammed into the room behind the two-way mirror. As I begin to sweat under my clerical collar, I feel stuck to the rusty, metal folding chair. Trying to keep my wits intact, I feel a paralyzing dread washing over me. Good Cop: Do you believe in God the Father Almighty? Me: Um...Mostly? Bad Cop: It is a yes or no question! Me: Yes. I think. I don't know. Can I be a "sort of "or a "maybe?" Good Cop: No. Me: But what do you mean by "believe" and "in" and "God"? Also, I am trying to steer away from patriarchal language and using human characteristics to describe God. So, I guess I'm out with God as the Father. Unlike other religious tell-all accounts, Doubting Faithfully: Confessions of a Skeptical Pastor articulates what a spiritual nomadic quest of an active leader of the Sunday morning faithful feels like from the other side of the pews-a confession most other clergy might prefer to keep hidden.