Develop Your Emotional Armor

Book excerpt: There is an interesting psychological coping mechanism that all humans have when dealing with certain emotional interactions, particularly criticisms and uncomfortable conversations that pierce our confidence and sway our self-esteem. Some people do their best to keep their emotions at bay by concealing their emotional selves and reacting more appropriately. This psychological coping mechanism and controlled emotional sharing is often due to a form of self-protection called emotional armor. The easiest way to picture this tangible psychological coping mechanism is to imagine an impenetrable plating like titanium steel under a person's skin, or similar to the exterior suits of armor worn by knights when going into battle in the past. The purpose of those extra layers of steel was twofold. First, from a psychological viewpoint, the suit provided peace of mind and a level of confidence to the fighter by alleviating the fear of being vulnerable or exposed during the battle. Second, from a physical viewpoint, it provided a real concrete protection against the enemy's attacks by interfering with their ability to land any critical or life-ending blows. These two factors play a similar psychological role in our modern-day use of emotional armor. Every human being experiences a criticism at some point in their lives. Negative comments can be received differently by people and can have a detrimental effect on a person's wellbeing. Some individuals respond to criticism in a less emotional and more cerebral manner. They develop their emotional armor and use some techniques to cope with the situation in a more intelligent and appropriate manner. There are two layers of emotional armor. The first layer protects ourselves against degradation, abuse, insult, and being constantly upset. The inner layer helps us build lasting self-confidence to control our emotions and react more appropriately. This book outlines the important ingredients and recipes needed to develop your own emotional armor.