Beyond the Bedroom

Book excerpt: Did one or both of your parents: Become emotionally distant and unloving to their spouse? Talk about sex or sexuality in an inappropriate way? Spend a lot of time away from home or form unusually close platonic relationships? Continue their destructive behavior, even when confronted by the damage it was causing? If so, you are an adult child of a sex addict. Sex addiction is not about parents who cheat on each other or have multiple partners, although it does manifest itself that way. It is about any sexual dysfunction between people in a long-term relationship: sexual withholding, emotional detachment, bullying or demeaning behavior, etc. These relationship problems form subconscious impressions on children and lead to unfulfilling relationships in later life. This book, for the first time, identifies 'sexual addiction' as a root cause of many of the dysfunctions in relationships. It helps readers analyze their parents' relationships. It then shows them the possible dysfunctions these problems caused in their own relationships, giving both general guidance and personal anecdotes from a select group of children of sex addicts. Finally, it gives readers several specific exercises to help free them from their past, heal their relationship with your parents (especially the 'victim partner'—often the wife—who is subconsciously blamed for not stopping the spouse's disruptive behavior), and repair any damage in their current relationships. This book is not just about cheating or abuse. It is about finding the way back to the loving relationships you want...and that those around you deserve.