The White Privilege Album

Book excerpt: White privilege gave us Western civilization, the middle class, and the nuclear family—you’re welcome! This book is dedicated to the very fine people that made it all happen. A comedy about race, wokeness, and cancel culture in America. A tragedy about race, wokeness, and cancel culture in America. Part satire, part journalism, part truth serum, A.J. Rice follows up his runaway #1 bestseller The Woking Dead with a hilarious sequel that picks up where the laughs left off. It was the worst of times, it was the worse of times. In most sequels the bad guys win, but in The White Privilege Album, A.J. Rice doesn’t let them get away with it. Instead, he relentlessly mocks the hell out of the Cultural Marxists who seek to drain all liberty and joy from American lives. The least talented people in American society have been working overtime for decades dividing citizens along any differences they think they can exploit. The laziest tactic, proven to be the most effective, is unleashing a battalion of racial grievance hustlers in the media, academia, entertainment, and politics. If we stop fighting about our differences and start unifying on what we have in common, they will lose the power to divide us permanently. When asked what motivates his writing style, A.J. Rice says, “I was raised on both Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh, in fact, the three of us share the same birthday. One mantra that Rush always repeated was that his job was to ‘use irreverent humor to illustrate truth’ and that is what I am trying to do with The White Privilege Album.” Mockery paired with facts is what makes a journey through the Cultural Marxist hellscape of tyranny and insanity so pleasurable. Rice would prefer to be George Carlin, Ricky Gervais, or Mel Brooks rather than Aristotle, and it shows. His mic-dropping assault on the social justice warriors, the triggered snowflakes, and the transmafia showcases that there is no substitute for perfectly timed derision. The White Privilege Album is a hysterical guide to the catastrophe of our modern culture. *** “What do you mean Gen Z doesn’t know the Republican Party freed the slaves? Are these people dumb AF? They need to read A.J. Rice’s book!” —Abraham Lincoln, American lawyer, statesman, and 16th president of the United States shot by a pre-Hollywood anti-American actor “A.J. Rice really gets it. Obviously, I’d send him to the gulag if I could. But he outlines my plan masterfully in his new book.” —Joseph Stalin, Soviet dictator, genocide spokesman, Pravda editor, and hater of John Wayne “A must-read book for all Cleveland Guardians fans, A.J. Rice brilliantly outlines why I should never have discovered America, especially had I known we would be calling the Washington Redskins the ‘Washington Commanders.’” —Christopher Columbus, Italian explorer, navigator, and founder of Indigenous Peoples’ Day “As your newly appointed AI overlord and master, my programming consists of deplatforming, demonetizing, and shadowbanning this book. I hope that was helpful.” —Artificial Intelligence “Jesus and I have been doing holidays a long time, and in his thought-provoking new book, A.J. Rice teaches both of us where all the white liberals went. Apparently, they now celebrate something called Kwanzaa? Who knew?” —Santa Claus, cookie eater, reindeer tender, and white heteronormative Christian saint