What Men Say, What Women Hear

Book excerpt: An indispensable relationship guide for every woman who has ever told her partner, “Really, don’t go to any trouble for my birthday”…And then been disappointed when he didn’t. He says: "That dress looks great! Let's buy it!" You hear: "He really loves being with me. I feel as though we've truly bonded." He means: "For the love of God, the last eight black dresses you tried on looked identical! Just buy one, so we can get home in time for the game!" In What Men Say, What Women Hear, Dr. Linda Papadopoulos tackles the saying, hearing, and listening gap between men and women that can complicate every step of a relationship, from first dates and first sex to meeting the parents and living happily ever after. An expert on Cognitive Behavior Therapy, which connects people's initial and often misguided perception of something to the emotional reaction that follows, Dr. Linda deconstructs the common thinking errors that can hinder communication—such as personalizing everything ("He's in a bad mood. Clearly he's thinking of a way to dump me.") and jumping to conclusions ("He asked how much younger my sister is than me. I bet he thinks I look like an old bat compared to her."). By applying clinical techniques to fun—and oh-so-familiar—examples, Dr. Linda helps readers eliminate unnecessary relationship anxiety and reevaluate the way they think about themselves, their partners, and the world around them.