Uncle John's Top Secret Bathroom Reader For Kids Only! Collectible Edition

Book excerpt: Collectible hardcover edition! All new illustrations! Same top-secret mix of fun and illustrations. Adults, stop reading now. We mean it. This book is TOP SECRET and it’s FOR KIDS ONLY! (Are the grownups gone? Good.) Now that it’s just the kids, we’ll let the cat out of the bag: This book is full of disgusting things and nasty (but funny) pranks. It’s also got weird superstitions, freaky facts, unbelievable myths and legends, and did we mention gross stuff? Like boogers. And farting ghosts. And armpit sniffers. And entomophagy. (What’s that? It’s the practice of eating worms.) But there’s more than just gross stuff in this illustrated and easy-to-read book. You’ll be briefed in . . . * How to make your own secret code * Where the “Jolly Roger” pirate flag came from * Mermaid tales and other unbelievable sightings * The original alchemist and the search for the Philosopher’s Stone * The Captain Underpants story * A secret recipe for edible glass * Sneakers of the future And a whole bunch more!