The Self-Motivated Kid

Book excerpt: Winner of the 2015 USA Book News International Book Award for Parenting and Family In this inspiring book, Dr. Shimi Kang, a Harvard-trained child and adult psychiatrist and an expert in human motivation, provides a guide to the art and science of encouraging children to develop their own internal drive and a lifelong love of learning. Drawing on the latest neuroscience and behavioral research, Dr. Kang shows why pushy, hovering "tiger parents" and permissive "jellyfish parents" actually hinder self-motivation. She proposes a powerful new parenting model: the intelligent, joyful, highly social dolphin. Dolphin parents focus on maintaining balance in their children's lives to compassionately yet authoritatively guide them toward lasting health, happiness, and success. The mother of three children and the daughter of immigrant parents who struggled to give their children the "best" in life—Dr. Kang's mother could not read, her father taught her math while they drove around in his taxicab, and she was never enrolled in a single extracurricular activity—Dr. Kang argues that often the simplest "benefits" parents give their children are the most valuable. Combining irrefutable science with unforgettable real-life stories, The Self-Motivated Kid walks readers through Dr. Kang's four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. She argues that by trusting our deepest intuition about what is best for our kids, we will allow them to develop key traits—adaptability, community-mindedness, creativity, and critical thinking—to empower them to succeed and thrive in our increasingly competitive and complex world.