The Psychology Behind The Cuckold Fetish

Book excerpt: There's nothing wrong with having a fetish; they're just sexual desires that society frowns upon, and that shouldn't stop you if you're happy. This book is written with that in mind, but mainly aimed at those who aren't happy, or those who are curious enough to investigate their psychology and understand themselves. Over the years, researchers in psychology have found success in many methods of changing or removing problematic sexual desires, and these are reviewed in this fully referenced, evidence-based self-help book.The distinctive feature of the cuckold fetish is that it involves being cheated on, right in front of you. The pain of infidelity and the humiliating feeling of inadequacy are what constitute this fetish. 'For some reason', this fetish turns the feeling of inadequacy into sexual pleasure. The possible explanations for this are reviewed in chapter 1, before chapter 2 explores this concept of inadequacy more deeply. The cuckold fetish turns painful deep-rooted fears of inadequacy and a subconscious sense of inadequacy into sexual pleasure. This is linked to the optional interracial element, as well as fetishes for humiliation, chastity, emasculation/feminization, and more. Most importantly of all, it's about the woman enjoying it, loving every second, losing control, and moaning more than ever, because that's what triggers the sense of inadequacy. By understanding these fears and feelings, we understand ourselves, and learn the unconscious drivers for most of our actions in life.Chapter 3 explores the way these deep-rooted fears and feelings can affect your life; causing all sorts of behaviors, like: addictions (alcoholism, drugs, gambling, or porn). Obsessive self-improvement (work, money, dieting/bodybuilding, or knowledge). Escapism (excessive video games, TV, Films, intellectualization). Grandiose fantasies, as well as occasional subhuman perceptions; an unstable sense of self. Underachieving, procrastinating, overachieving, perfectionism. Chapter 4 is all about how this subconscious inadequacy formed in the first place: it's initially formed in early childhood. Many factors affect it, such as not having privacy, attention, control, or security, unemotional fathers, absent fathers, workaholic fathers, alcoholic parents, physical punishment, needy parents, or narcissistic parents. Other factors throughout life can affect it too, such as culture and relationships, and being cheated on in the past. You've probably either attracted 'crazy' girlfriends that you're avoidant to, or distant/cold girlfriends that you're too needy to.Chapter 5 is about taking action. Numerous practical steps are presented to change your fetish, in both the short and the long term, from all angles in psychology including behavioral, psychodynamic, social, physiological, and humanistic. As with the rest of this book, significant statements are referenced and backed up with appropriate sources, which are listed at the end of the book.Debut self-help author and experienced fetish researcher Connor McGonigal guides you through the multi-step process to understand and overcome the causative psychology of the cuckold fantasy, refined by years of coaching men 1-on-1, and his self-help video course of the same name. This book is about using your fetish to understand yourself - the most fundamental aspects of your psychology - and being able to grow as a person, whether you want to change your fetish with it or not. Fetishes can naturally come and go over the course of our lifetimes, because we change and grow as people. Sometimes, the fears and self-image that we had at one point in our lives is completely different from today, and as a result, our sexual fantasies change to match.This book is about speeding up that process - understanding 'subconscious inadequacy', and overcoming it.