Sir Apropos of Nothing

Book excerpt: The result of the midnight rape of a tavern wench, Apropos is an unlikely hero: rogue, rascal, scoundrel, cheat -- and those are his good points. Lame but cunning, he thinks that chivalry is not dead simply because he isn't finished with it.All too aware of his violent and unseemly beginnings, Apropos travels to the court of the good King Runcible with three goals: to find his father, seek retribution, and line his pockets. Instead he finds himself assigned as squire to the most senile knight in the court, Sir Umbrage of the Flaming Nether Regions. When he also encounters a berserk phoenix, murderous unicorns, mutated harpies, homicidal warrior kings, and a princess who may be a psychotic arsonist, Apropos must use all his wits -- and his flashing blade -- to survive.