Secrets and Lies

Book excerpt: A compellingly readable journey into the realm of family secrets, offering lessons and insights for those who are hiding the truth and for those who discover what has long been hidden. Jane Isay was both a secret finder and a secret keeper. After fifteen years of marriage, her husband revealed he was gay, but together they decided to keep it a secret for the sake of their two sons. Building on her personal experience, sixty intimate interviews, and extensive research into the psychology of secrets, Isay shows how the pain of deception can be lightened by full disclosure, genuine apology, and time. Though secrets can damage our sense of self and our relationships, Isay shows how people can survive even the most disturbing revelations.