Live Nude Elf

Book excerpt: Live Nude Elf chronicles Reverend Jen's two-year stint as sex columnist for nerve.com; she details her “sexperiments,” ranging from harrowing (working as a live nude girl at “Wiggles”) to embarrassing (fellatio school) to transcendent (reaching a mystical state through tantric sex). Along the way there is transvestitism, female ejaculation, opium smoking, and heartbreak. In the Rev's “art star” world, where a young bisexual boy named Orion has sex with a jar of mayonnaise, the more mundane acts of romance—kissing, buying dinner for a lover, and just making eye contact in the sack—become rare and subversive. The experiments, orgies, balloon fetish parties, a stint as the “lube girl” on a porn set, the “lab partners,” and the late nights begin to wear on the Reverend, who craves normalcy, and the columns change their tone: Jen takes care of a friend’s baby, navigates yuppie bars trying to snag a millionaire hubby, and dates a silver fox, “someone older, distinguished, wealthy, and simply grooving with the eternal now.” After a decade of New York City affairs, Jen unexpectedly falls in love and must decide: Does the life required of an artist and a sex columnist preclude her from monogamous romantic love?