Linus & The Leprechauns

Book excerpt: "How-de-do," whispered Linus as politely as he could, trying hard not to stare. Swaying dangerously now under the weight of his two colleagues, the First Minister Gobbledygook winked at him. "Top of the mornin' to you, young sir; bet you've never seen the likes of us, have ye, now?" Linus shook his head silently, never taking his eyes of the whiskered individual closest to his face. That walking stick looked quite capable of poking a human eye out! "What, if I may ask, are you?" Linus felt it was rather difficult holding a polite conversation entirely in whispers. "Are you also noble members of the House of O'Malley?" "Of course not!" Skinflint said indignantly, his cheeks turning a little pink beneath his white mutton chops. "Then what exactly are you, if not O'Malley's from Lincolnshire? Gnomes? Pixies?" "I'll give ye a clue. We're Oirish." Minister Gobbledygook chuckled into his bushy red beard. "As Oirish as rainbows, harps and soda bread." Giggling made him bob his arms slightly up and down, causing an upwards tremor that threatened to undo their pyramid at any moment. *** It's not everyday you go for a stroll to explore a new neighbourhood and find yourself nose-to-nose with a leprechaun! But this is what happens to shy 9-year-old Linus Brown, when he follows the advice of a mysterious scarecrow and takes a road less well travelled. Before long, Linus finds himself at the centre of The Great Leprechaun War, coming face to fist with the school bully and his horrible Uncle Herb. These two polluters could wipe out the world's last remaining leprechaun colony with the poison they dump into Farmer O'Malley's woodland pond. Can Linus safe the leprechauns from Thunderpants the Destroyer and make a friend of brave Princess Hermione in the process? Linus faces impossible odds. The school bully's built like a tank and it's Thunderpants-a-go! when Uncle Herb's around. Expect plenty of farting jokes, sneaky witches with their own agenda and far more leprechauns than could possibly fit into a single pot of gold.