How to Survive the Coming Collapse of Civilization

Book excerpt: Poetry. Literary Nonfiction. Environmental Studies. Hybrid Genre. Everyone knows that Western civilization (and probably Eastern civilization, also) will collapse within the next seven years. The question is: how will you survive? The answer is simple. Follow the advice below, explicitly. If you do so, you will weather the coming storms. I hope to run into you, and your newfound tribe, in a lily-rich meadow after the Apocalypse. Sparrow has reinvented the post- apocalyptic manual. Instead of advising his readers to stockpile food and kill intruders, he emphasizes giving your TV set a Tarot reading and finding rhyming names in the phone book. (There are many other suggestions: 268 in all.) Sparrow guarantees that following his sometimes-eccentric methods will enable you to survive the apocalypse, with your tribe of improvisational nomads. (The optimum number of tribal members is 14, he explains.) "The names that come to mind are S. J. Perelman, Robert Benchley, James Thurber and not just because they're dead. Or Woody Allen if he'd never made any films, just the little prose pieces. Everyone thinks of Sparrow (the poet and pop star) as a Communist Republican Jewish Tantrik Yogi Hippie more a symptom of post-modernism than a practitioner. Yet Sparrow] reveals himself rooted in tradition: New Yorker as sly wiseguy, a line going all the way back to our ur-ironist, Father Knickerbocker." Hakim Bey "Sparrow's harvest of advice, wisdom, fake wisdom, and miniature poems is eccentric and funny, yes, but also thoughtful, politically engaged, and generous: Sparrow sees our familiar world from another angle, he pays attention to its peculiar beauties, and he wakes us up. HOW TO SURVIVE is a pleasure to read, read aloud to a friend, and think about later." Lydia Davis "I love how Sparrow occupies time specifically my time. His genius is his pleasure and that pleasure is a roar and a sigh and a long walk against capitalism. I could read his thoughts until I die. I'm sure I will." Leopoldine Core "God knows we need this guide which is why He sent Sparrow to dwell among us. Is it Zen? Is it 'deterritorialization'? Has the world's navel ever been rubbed like this? If wit can save the world from itself, this collection of tricks, poems, and fake wisdom will surely achieve that. Even if wit cannot save the world at least you will die laughing as the gentle anarchist allows you to see what you always knew but didn't know you knew." Mick Taussig"