Comfort the Kid! Infant Sleep, Parent-Child Bonding, and the Perils of "Cry it Out"

Book excerpt: Comfort the kid ... or let her cry it out? Listen to your instincts ... or ignore them? Your heart tells you that cuddling your baby is much, much better than "ferberizing." This book explains why. It's 2 A.M. and your baby is wailing. You're tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed. Do you heed your friends' advice and let the baby cry it out, hoping he'll self-soothe and learn that he doesn't need you in the middle of the night? Or do you listen to your deepest instincts, go to the child, and comfort her until she returns to sleep? In this eye-opening manifesto, pediatric sleep specialists Eliot S. Katz and Carolyn D'Ambrosio explore the history of the "Cry it Out" industry and the medicalization of perfectly normal infant sleep patterns. They explain how the demands of modern society encourage parents to value uninterrupted sleep over their baby's needs, and to ignore important nighttime opportunities for parent-child bonding. "Comfort the Kid" also provides answers to the many questions that keep parents awake at night: Should my baby sleep in his own room, separated from his parents? (No.) Will I spoil my baby by picking her up when she cries? (No.) Will comforting my infant when he cries make him manipulative and demanding? (No.) Do the words that I use to describe my child become self-fulfilling prophecies? (Maybe.) Filled with useful tips and safe sleep practices, parent-infant communication, and family rhythms and tempos, "Comfort the Kid!" emphasizes the golden rule of parenting. Comforting your crying infant results in less stress and better sleep for both you and your baby. From Introduction, "Infancy is a challenging passage during which parents draw upon talents, insights, and stamina that they never knew they had. It is also a time to acquire a skill set and strategy that will be helpful for the demands ahead. Our hope is that a full understanding of the underlying evolutionary, biological, and cultural determinants governing infant sleep will ease this process. Knowing the benefits of Comfort the Kid will make sleepless nights a bit less distressing, and perhaps even enjoyable. A few years from now, you will remember these interactions fondly." Praise for "Comfort the Kid," "An innovative approach to helping infants and their families obtain healthy sleep through an understanding of normal infant behavior and the importance of a nurturing parent-child relationship. Highly recommended for all new parents." —Laura Sterni, M.D., Director, Johns Hopkins Pediatric Sleep Center "in this remarkable book, Doctors Katz and D'Ambrosio challenge many of the currently accepted tenets regarding infant sleep and direct parents to behaviors that both maximize sleep quality and optimize bonding with the infant." —David White, M.D., Past President, American Academy of Sleep Medicine "The authors take the reader through the reasoning for why letting an infant "Cry it Out" is not a good approach for either the parent's or the infant's health. Using quotes, anecdotes, and science, the authors discuss evolution, normal sleep, and infant development to assist parents in creating an optimal sleeping strategy for them and their children." —Nancy Collop, M.D., Past President, American Academy of Sleep Medicine Doctors Katz and D'Ambrosio cogently discuss why comforting crying infants, co-sleeping, and other practices that promote bonding between infant and parents will eventually result in less stress and better sleep for both." —Stuart Quan, M.D. Past President, American Academy of Sleep Medicine