Summary of Harriet Lerner's The Dance of Connection

Book excerpt: Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book. Sample Book Insights: #1 The art of communication is a difficult one, and we may do our best to speak but still feel unheard. We may find that we cannot affect our husband or wife or partner, that fights go nowhere, and that conflict brings only pain rather than an opportunity for two people to learn more about each other. #2 We can never guarantee that the other person will get our message, or respond the way we want. But we can learn to be heard and move relationships forward. We can take a conversation to the next level when the initial foray doesn’t bring the desired result. #3 The challenge of finding an authentic voice within an intimate relationship is far larger than a word like communication can ever begin to describe. Authenticity brings to mind such elusive qualities as being fully present, centered, and in touch with our best selves in our most important conversations. #4 The challenge in conversation is not just to be ourselves, but to choose the self we want to be. We don’t discover who we are by sitting alone on a mountaintop and meditating, or by being introspective and going deeper.