The Right Kind of Pride

Book excerpt: After 20 years of marriage author Christopher Cudworth and his wife Linda faced a future changed by her onset of ovarian cancer at age 46. Early in their survivorship journey a former coach reached out to Chris with advice both practical and inspiration. "Your whole life has been a preparation for this." Meanwhile the women at the preschool where Linda worked rallied to support the family by forming The Girls Club, whose primary rule was simple. "We're here to help. Tell us everything that's going on." Through eight years of cancer survivorship the couple learned much about the value of character, caregiving and community. The Right Kind of Pride is a chronicle of that journey and how family, friends and faith made miracles happen along the way. The Prologue describes how the couple responded to news of cancer and formed both a practical and philosophical strategy to deal with the life-changing news. The book also features the blogs Chris and Linda distributed through an online caregiving website to a caregiving support group of more than 70 people. Each entry was written in real time and covers the real emotions of cancer survivorship from fear to faith, hope to humor. Through it all the couple strove to be a blessing to others as they were blessed, with testimony to the power of faith but also the attentuation required to make smart choices in health care situations and deal with the fact that life, and medicine itself, are not always perfect. These key philosophies emanated from the saying the couple adopted (or co-opted) as their own. "Normally the phrase 'It Is What It Is" means resignation," the author notes. "But to us it helped put cancer in its place. Linda did not choose the attitude of victimhood because our gratitude for all the help we received erased that worldview." Instead the couple enjoyed long periods of remission during 8 years of cancer survivorship while busy working, raising two children through high school and college and making time for gardening, fitness and immersion in the joys of life. The book also chronicles some of the sudden and disturbing challenges the couple faced as Chris met resistance from employers on caregiving and health insurance coverage. Yet time after time the attitude of faith and trust resolved these issues. The Right Kind of Pride focuses on the fact that humility and the willingness to show weakness and vulnerability are important facets of cancer survivorship. They present an honest take on the human condition while showing the will to do what's necessary to find peace, health and acceptance through all phases of cancer survivorship. The book carries the reader through the hope that led to miracles and the resolution of hospice and grief. The author shares his Goofball's Guide to Grief, documenting the seemingly random thoughts that come with loss and change. As author of a book titled The Genesis Fix: A Repair Manual for Faith in the Modern Age, Christopher Cudworth uses that background to relate the tangible relationship (and balance) between belief in God and the very real world of science, medicine and politics that affects us all. The Right Kind of Pride is about making sense of cancer survivorship.