Must Try Harder!

Book excerpt: A side-splitting collection of the most earnest and mangled attempts at the English language made by generations of schoolchildren. Be they funny, irreverent or just plain silly, Mr McGreevy's Absolute Howlers are guaranteed to have you weeping with laughter. Four separate editions cover howlers in Science, History, English and Geography. Includes, amongst hundreds of others, the following howlers: Coal is decayed vegetarians. Socrates died of an overdose of wedlock. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak. The King wore a scarlet robe trimmed with vermin. In the middle of the 18th Century all the morons moved to Utah. The German Emperor's lower passage was blocked by the English. The French Revolution was caused by overcharging taxis. Nets are holes surrounded by pieces of string. In biology today we digested a frog. The seventh commandment is 'Thou shall not admit adultery'. Pompeii was destroyed by an overflow of saliva from the Vatican. A census taker is a man who goes from house to house increasing the population. Adolescence is the stage between puberty and adultery.