The wizard

Book excerpt: "wanted, but how could I know, if everything was done like that, and if none of it was real, how can one live like that chained to the past without memory good than not, but how could I know if it was really everything I dreamed of doing, and even so, how can I think about my life, without appreciating a moment, when I wanted to understand the world around me, I I don't know where I got lost, and will I ever find myself, how can I know if this was the way life had to happen, how could I know it was the way God had planned for me, and I could no longer live in my own way, was it possible that I was trapped and chained to my past, that I was unable to live in the present, was it that the future beyond what I plan was written somewhere, in the stars who knows, how can I know if it was all that? what I should be, can I understand beyond the limits of what I thought, can I search for something inside my..."