Facing the Fire

Book excerpt: The author of The Flying Boy describes how repressing anger can have profound effects on personal health and guides readers step by step through the process of getting past their fears. “Facing the Fire is the best book on anger I have read; it is responsible, honest, practical, and a good read. I know the techniques Lee describes work, and the exercises alone make it a valuable book. I will use Facing the Fire personally and professionally.”—Dr. Patricia Love, author of The Emotional Incest Syndrome: What to Do When a Parent’s Love Rules Your Life Do you believe: Anger is a “negative” emotion? “Nice” or “emotionally sophisticated” people don't get angry? Anger will disappear when you have understood intellectually what causes it? You won’t be angry if you just learn to forgive? If so, you are not alone. Anger is the most misunderstood and, consequently, painful of all our emotions. But denying, suppressing, and avoiding our own and others’ anger can have unfortunate results: weakened immune systems, numbing addictions, stormy relationships, lowered self-esteem. Now, John Lee, the nationally renowned speaker, teacher, and author, shows you a better way of dealing with anger. Based on his work with clients and his own experiences with anger, he: • Uses real-life scenarios to help you understand what anger is, what causes it, and why it cannot and should not be avoided • Carefully guides you through a process of confronting and getting past the fears—of losing control, of alienating people, of hurting yourself or someone you love—that keep you from honestly experiencing and accepting your anger • Gently demonstrates ways in which you can express anger constructively—from talking it out to pounding your pillow • Demonstrates why another person’s anger, if it is expressed appropriately, need not be threatening or harmful to you—but in fact can help you “Anger is our most misunderstood emotion. It is a fire that will either consume or purify. In this book, through effective and practical exercises, John Lee carefully guides the reader into a healthy relationship with this powerful emotion.”—Wayne Kritsberg, author of The Invisible Wound